And now, on my last day in Kakamega, I complete my list.
America #10- Gender equality
Perhaps the thing I was most wary about coming to Kakamega was how I would react to the male-dominated culture. This concern was repeated over and over by many of the other interns. How do we deal with situations and attitudes we view as sexist and wrong in a constructive and “culturally sensitive” (I don’t think I can use that phrase seriously anymore) way? This, I thought would be my greatest challenge.
I’ve heard horror stories and undoubtedly they are all true— women beaten by their husbands; the various difficulties in receiving an education due to lack of money or demand of other household responsibilities; polygamy; lack of bargaining power with husbands/partners in condom use. We female interns were warned to be extra cautious around all men, including our host fathers. We were told it is inappropriate to even refer to a male as a “friend”. We were warned we may not be taken seriously in the workplace. I was prepared for the worst.
On one hand, my experiences with gender inequality were not as severe as I anticipated. With perhaps only one notable exception, the men and women in my organization seemed to operate on equal footing. But this was also an organization which listed women’s empowerment as one of its main goals. My host sister Valarie is a feisty and spirited 10-year old with ambitions of attending university and becoming a newscaster. Women like those at my organization and Valarie make me think Kenya is well on its way to gender equality.
However, as I was thinking about this topic today, I wondered if gender inequality only seems to be fading away. Perhaps its subtlety belies its severity. Dinnertime at my house often stirs frustration within me and perhaps illustrates an underlying sentiment that many Americans would identify as sexist.
My host father usually arrives home last. He walks in, greets the women of the house, and sits in his chair in the living room. From this point on, he does not need to move. A small table is carted over to him and a flask of tea and mug are brought. He sits, watches TV or reads the paper while the house girl prepares dinner. When dinner is ready, the women bring the food to the table in the living room. My host mother brings over a basin and pitcher of warm water and washes her husband’s hands. She then dishes him a plate of food, usually about half of all the food on the table, before any of the women may prepare their own plate. When the meal is complete, the women bring the dishes to the kitchen. (Note: This is in no way meant as an attack on my host father; he seems like a good enough man… it’s just the way the world works here.)
The thinking here is, the man is in charge and the woman is his assistant. This doctrine is beginning to be questioned but the submissiveness seems to be almost ingrained into the thinking of both men and women.
I had been meaning to write about this topic for awhile but have found it difficult to articulate my thoughts on status of gender equality. I think after spending 9 weeks here I feel optimistic that the position of women will continue to improve.
Kenya #10- Random moments
The uniqueness and randomness of life in Kenya is undoubtedly what I will miss most. I have had many moments over the past 9 weeks where I think, how random is my life? A sense of humor is vital to appreciate these situations as sometimes they are uncomfortable or unsettling. Like when someone sits in your lap on a matatu. Or even better, when a chicken sits in your lap. When you have a lizard roommate. When you resort to showering in the rain. When your blog becomes an internet sensation due to your mention of Storm Over Paradise. When you bond with a random Kenyan riding by on a bicycle who appreciates your mischievousness towards ducks. When your matatu leaves the main road and dives into a field of corn to avoid cops. When you are asked to be a man’s 9th wife. When you see a bucket of puppies. When you eat cow intestine. When your James Bond DVD is a Spanish soap opera. When your bodaboda driver is drinking out of a can labeled “battery acid”.
Each day tended to bring some absurd occurrence. Something unique and totally Kenyan.